Parenting today…it’s not easy

Laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning the house, tying shoes, getting the kids to bed, working outside of the home, arguing that wearing long sleeves and pants on a 90-degree day isn’t the best idea…the list as a parent goes on. Parenting today is harder than ever. We are now living in the age of immediacy, demand, and isolation. With that it is easy to sacrifice ourselves, our health, our social supports and our own happiness. I often tell my clients that we are all like buckets, and we often dip into our own buckets to fill the buckets of others around us. Every time we soothe our children’s boo-boo, build them up after a fight with a friend at school, make sure homework is finished, finish an 8-hour work day, and all of the other “I need this now” items, we are exhausted…we have emptied our bucket by giving all that we have. Then we wonder why we are tired, depressed, burned out, and/or cranky. We are running on an empty bucket, and when we look around to find someone to help fill our bucket we often find ourselves standing alone.


In Therapy we talk to our clients about the need to fill their own bucket…through a sense of community and self-care activities. Getting time for some of the self-care can be relatively simple…set up routines that get the kids to help around the house by cleaning up after themselves, set a bedtime routine that they can do on their own, or get them to help with the laundry. There are many lists on the internet on “Chores by ages” that will give you some ideas on what kids can help with around the house. Once they are doing this you can find some time to fill your bucket…take a walk outside, listen to music, watch/stream a TV show or movie that you’ve wanted to see for a while, start that exercise routine that you’ve been wanting to start, or reconnect with friends. Taking time for yourself to do what you enjoy will help you fill your bucket, feel less isolated, feel happier, and feel like you have something to give again to others. Taking time for yourself is not selfish…it’s necessary!

Lisa Higgins, MFT is a Couple and Family Therapist skilled in supporting parents and caregivers. Through collaboration and community Lisa works with clients to create routines that help to support, reduce caregiver stress, and positive discipline solutions. If you need some help learning to fill your bucket contact Lisa at to connect.

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Erdenheim, PA 19038
(484) 832-5921

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